SNL Spoof Michelle and Barack Obama: Transcript, Video (10-25-08)

Saturday Night Live continues it's parody of the presidential election. This week SNL parodies Obama's purhased 30 minute network time. Read excerpt below. Read the transcript of more of the show.

FRED ARMISEN AS SEN. BARACK OBAMA -- "Good evening, my fellow Americans. I am
Barack Obama and this is my wife Michelle. This coming Wednesday, our campaign
will run a special thirty-minute address on all four major networks.

MAYA RUDOLPH AS MICHELLE OBAMA - "This airtime was initially purchased so that
we could speak to you one last time about the issues."
ARMISEN AS OBAMA - "However, with poll numbers putting us so far ahead - we
decided now's the time to play it safe.

RUDOLPH - "Instead of a conventional address, we're going to carefully manage
our lead and well, shake things up. .

(THE LIGHTS COME UP ON STAGE. THERE IS A LARGE SILVER "O" ON THE FLOOR OF THE
STAGE)

ARMISEN AS OBAMA - "With the 'Barack Obama Variety Half-Hour!' It's time to
have some fun.

RUDOLPH AS MICHELLE OBAMA - "Because we got a lead in the polls and we built it
up."

ARMISEN AS OBAMA - "We built it up."

RUDOLPH AS MICHELLE OBAMA - "We built it up."

ARMISEN/RUDOLPH (TO THE TUNE OF "SOLID" BY ASHFORD & SIMPSON)
"AND NOW IT'S SOLID,
SOLID AS BARACK,
THAT'S WHAT THIS LEAD IS,
THAT'S WHAT WE GOT,GOT, GOT, GOT, GOT"

ARMISEN AS OBAMA - "All your favorites from the campaign will be stopping by for
songs and skits. Including House Democrats, Barney Frank, Nancy Pelosi, and
Rahm Emmanuel.

KRISTEN WIIG AS PELOSI (TO THE TUNE OF: C.S.N.Y.'s "OUR HOUSE"):

"OUR HOUSE, IS A VERY, VERY FINE HOUSE,
WHEN THE REPUBLICANS WERE IN CHARGE"

ANDY SAMBERG AS EMMANUEL/BOBBY MOYNIHAN AS FRANK:
"LIFE USED TO BE SO HARD"

WIIG AS PELOSI:
"NOW EVERYTHING IS EASY,
'CAUSE OF YOU"

ARMISEN AS OBAMA
And of course, a party is never complete without Bill Clinton.

DARRELL HAMMOND AS CLINTON:
(SINGING TO THE TUNE OF SIMPLE MINDS' "DON'T YOU FORGET ABOUT ME")

"DON'T YOU FORGET ABOUT ME,
DON'T, DON'T, DON'T, DON'T"

ARMISEN AS OBAMA - It's been a long campaign, so let's have some good
old-fashioned fun with Senator Joe Biden.

SUDEIKIS AS BIDEN - "Thanks for inviting me to dinner, Barack."

ARMISEN AS OBAMA - "So, Joe, I'm gonna ask, why did you say that if I was
elected a foreign power would test me with an international crisis? Hey, what
are you eating?"

SUDEIKIS AS BIDEN - "Oh this? (HOLDS UP A RUBBER FOOT) It's my foot...in my
mouth!"

(THEY LAUGH LONG AND HARD)

ARMISEN AS OBAMA - "You'll even see Reverend Jeremiah Wright and University of
Illinois at Chicago, Professor Bill Ayers."

(TO THE TUNE OF: "Crazy" by Gnarls Barkley)

KENAN THOMPSON AS REV. WRIGHT (with BILL HADER as AYERS on keyboards):

WHITE DEVILS BE CRAZY!
WHITE DEVILS BE CRAZY!

RUDOLPH AS MICHELLE OBAMA - "And some serious moments like Barack meeting the
spirit of John F. Kennedy."

JON HAMM AS THE SPIRIT OF JFK - "Barack Obama. Over the years there have been
many pretenders in the Democratic Party but you truly are the heir to my
legacy."
HAMMOND AS CLINTON - "Guys, I'm standing right here."

ARMISEN AS OBAMA - "Bill Clinton, everybody!"

RUDOLPH AS OBAMA - "So join us this Wednesday for the 'Barack Obama Variety Half
Hour.' I promise it will be...